I was reading the Extraordinary Routines newsletter this morning, a site I love for its great insight on what it is to be a creative person. This issue was about cultivating self-enjoyment, and referenced an interview the author previously had with artist and writer Debbie Millman. When asked what she wished she knew earlier in life, Millman had responded “I wish I knew I was talented. I wish I knew I was pretty. I so regret not knowing that now”.
The comment really resonated with me. It showed the path of growth and self-acceptance we all strive for (she didn’t know it then, but she knows it now!), but it also highlighted the inherent vulnerability of being human in the day-to-day. It sometimes feels like we rarely know we are good at something or that our bodies are okay the way they are or that our thoughts are valid, when we are in the here-and-now. It’s not until we have removed ourselves so much from that moment and feeling — either through the passage of time, through the lens of an older, wiser body, or from the perspective of a new physical location or career choice — that we see more clearly all of our many merits. That we were actually good enough, even then! That we were talented, worth people’s time, worth being seen and heard.
In my nutrition work, I have encountered so many stories about how body image perception impacts food choices. A “good” body day can lead to the reward of eating forbidden food, and a “bad” body day usually leads to food restriction, followed by a binge. The tricky thing with body image is that it is the perception of how the body looks. But perception can change so quickly, based on what we’re wearing, who we’re standing next to, general anxiety levels, strength of current relationships, and more. If we reward and punish our body with food based on our ever-changing perception of how we look, we create a volatile experience for ourselves – both physically and mentally.
I myself have a whole list of things that I wish I knew about myself ten years ago. And I’m sure that over the next decade I will realize that a lot of the insecurities and theories I hold about myself now are, more or less, unfounded. So as much as possible, I am reminding myself (and you, and others!) that right now, we are worthwhile and living in bodies that deserve space and positive attention. And hopefully we can start saying “I know I am/I knew I was [insert self-affirming word]…” more often.